I had undergone appendectomy when I was 12. I was shaking my head when I found out that we don’t really need an appendix to survive in this world. I mean, hello, it has been more than a decade since I lost mine and here I am, still breathing. It almost killed me and to find out that it is actually unneccessary makes me want to cry. But, seriously, why do we keep unneccessary things in life that can harm us?
I have been doing a reevaluation of myself and been asking myself lately how much of what weighs me down is not mine to carry. By doing this, I came to a realization that there are a lot of unneccessary things in my life. The unneccessary number of unused notebooks in my drawers and on my shelves, unneccessary pile of clothes that I can’t give away even if they don’t fit me anymore just because of its sentimental value (I still have that OshKosh B’gosh shirt my grandma bought for me when I was 10), the stuffed animals that I promised to let go of because I told myself I will try to mature a little bit, the stock of dried fish inside the fridge that I don’t even cook, and the unneccessary heartaches I deal with every day for different various causes and reasons. So many unneccessary things, God knows what else.
I have a tendency to be really hard on myself. I like torturing my poor mind and heart by overthinking things that I am not even supposed to think about. Even the simple dilemma of choosing what to eat for lunch stresses me out. Believe me; it sucks to be me sometimes. But, that is just how it is; that is just how I am.
I do not know if that is good or bad but I believe that these unneccessary things are essential for growth and survival. I strongly believe that life is a constant battle. We can’t always stay on the safe side of everything. In Meredith Grey’s words:
Pain. You just have to ride it out, hope it goes away on its on. Hope the wound that caused it heals. There are no solutions, no easy answers. You just breathe deep and wait for it to subside. Most of the time pain can be managed, but sometimes the pain gets you when you least expect it, hits way below the belt and doesn’t let up. Pain. You just have to fight through it, because the truth is you can’t outrun it… And life always makes more.
But, as essential as it is, it could be tiring at times. It can take away the best of you. It can drown you in all the negative emotions and even if you are a great swimmer, it will be hard for you to save yourself. It can steal your attention from the things in life that truly matter. It will consume you up to the last happy cell in your body. Thus, you will succumb into it and will lose all your ability to cheer yourself up. Eventually, you’re going to make yourself believe that the world is ganging up on you so you will shut everyone out. In the end, you will realize that these unneccessary things are putting so much weight on your shoulder that even on a bright day like today, you can still feel a little down and not even your comfort food can cheer you up.
Now, tell me how is it really possible for us not to mind the unnecessary things in our lives such as pain? or heartaches? As what they say, pain demands to be felt. So if it hurts you, deal with it. If it consumes you, save yourself because noone is gonna do it for you. If it steals your joy, get back up and take it back. You have to fight against it. You have to fight for it. These things may be unnecessary but they are powerful. But, you gotta show the world who’s the best. The boss is you. You are the master of your emotions.
The unnecesarry notebooks on my shelves, I can use them someday. The pile of unnecessary clothes, I can give them all away. The unnecessary stress, I can deal with them. The unnecessary heartaches, I’ll say goodbye to them one day. Because, to be honest, these unnecessary things make you who your are. Embrace the unnecessary.
Be strong and have courage, my dear heart. <3 This might be a harsh world but you’ll get by.