Posts

Love and Other Fears

It was clear. I am afraid to love.

Not just to love, but to love him.

He is  so fragile, so delicate

so lost yet so good to be true.

Maybe he is broken, or maybe not.

Maybe he just carries something deep inside,

that people, even himself, do not understand.

I am afraid to love him because I am afraid of failure.

That maybe I am not the one he needs.

He is a  forest and I am just a girl who loves to wander

but is really terrified to get lost.

So I walked away and never looked back.

Because I was afraid.

I was afraid to embrace and to let go of what matters most.

Changes

Why do I have this feeling that I am about to lose you soon? Why do I have this extensive amount of fear deep in my heart? I feel like life will find a way to tear as apart. I feel like we don’t have much time left to be together.

Where is this fear coming from? Who can stop me from feeling this way?

But, as they always say, you only lose something that you’re holding on to. Does it mean I have to let go or it simply means that I should be prepared of losing you?

Here I am begging God again to give me more time with you. You are essential to my survival. I need you and I am not yet prepared not to have you. I can adjust with the changes in our lives but i cannot handle losing you. But how long can I keep up with the changes? I really don’t know.

But, above all reasons…the top reason for my fear is because you haven’t taught me how to live without you yet.

20130303-004828.jpg