So I was there, staring blankly into a blank Microsoft Word page, thinking about a way to start a love-hate letter. I stared at it for too long that I almost became cross eyed. I don’t even know what I’m looking at anymore. I guess there’s no perfect way to start this kind of letter. I don’t know which part should come first, the hate or the love part. After a few minutes of staring at it blankly, I wrote the first word. It was his name. Just the sight of it gives me butterflies in my stomach and a heavy heart. I almost went numb. I shrug some unwanted thoughts off my head. But, the next thing I know, I’m pressing ‘backspace’ on the keyboard deleting what I just wrote. Then, I clicked on the ‘X’ on the upper right side of the screen to close the application.
“Do you want to save some changes?”
Save. Don’t Save. Cancel.
I clicked on “Don’t Save”. That was it. I am, once again, left with nothing but my unspoken words, unwritten letters and my ever silent screams and heartaches. I secretly succumb to self-destruction. I really thought that it is impossible to break a broken heart but there you are again killing every single part of my heart that feels alive. But, I made a choice. Don’t save. I chose not to save my heart.