High Standards In Love

A video of Filipina actress Jodi Sta. Maria, went viral on social media. She said,

“We should never apologize for having high standards in love, because the right man, or the man who really wants to be in your life will rise up to meet those standards.” – Jodi Sta. Maria

How did Jodi know what I was thinking? She picked the right words to explain it well and I hope people understood it very well. It could not have been said better.

Most of us experienced playing with Barbie and Ken and at a very young age, we were exposed to the idea of love. I grew up playing with “The Sims” as well and have watched my Sims build their own home and family. Since then, I have dreamt of having my own family someday. I have pictured it out in my head the kind of wedding I would have and the kind of home I would build. I carried those wedding fantasies in my head as I grow older.

Now that I am at a marrying age and when all my friends and cousins are getting engaged or married, people would  ask me all the freakin’ time how come I am not married or why I am not in a relationship. It is actually tiring to explain everytime someone would ask. Truth is, I think I don’t really have to explain myself to anyone. But for their own peace of mind, I always try to. But still, some people have made their own conclusions. Some would say maybe I have high standards or that I am choosy. Some would make speculations such as maybe I am a man hater or worse, I am a lesbian. They talk about it as if being one is a crime and as if they know you so well. I would tell them that none of those is the reason to why I am still single. They wouldn’t believe me, and would start telling me things like “You are not getting any younger.”, “It will be hard for you to give birth after 30.”, “You have to find someone you can spend the rest of your life with.” and the list goes on as if they are trying to scare me so that I would settle down right away. As if it is that easy.

Who doesn’t want to find someone who they can spend the rest of their life with? To have that constant person that you can annoy and love for the rest of your days or atleast someone to cuddle with on rainy days. Who doesn’t want cute mini versions of themselves? Who doesn’t want to have that wonderful wedding and an even wonderful Christ-centered marriage? I never know anyone who never prayed for these. It is everyone’s heart’s desire.

But, God delays the love story of some sometimes. Good thing or bad thing; Only God knows. Sometimes He delays it because we are yet to accomplish a different mission in life first before He gives us away to the man He prepared for us. Sometimes He delays it to save us from the wrong one. Sometimes He delays it until we realize who we really are and what we want to do. He delays it for a reason. Someday, everything will make sense. All I know is He delays it for our own good. We may not understand it or there will be days that we might find it hard to wait for God’s time that sometimes, we would do things our way. We will refuse to take the narrow gate and we will start making our own decisions and moves. We will start taking advantage of the free will that has been given to us. Chances are we will have our hearts broken. And when we end up heartbroken, we will turn to God like a child and would pray for the heartaches to go away. Do not be deceived by the earthly gifts people offer you or the flowery words that they feed your ear or by different ways that they try to impress you. Sure, having those romantic dates and having someone to have and to hold sound like a good idea; But, a wrong person will always be a wrong person. Be careful who you give your heart to.

In Proverbs 19:21, it says: “Many are the plans in man’s heart but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.”. God promised us a future that is full of hope.God never breaks a promise and only God has the power to fulfill this promise. You can fall in love to the next guy who will tell you he likes you or the first guy who will give you butterflies in your stomach; You can fall in love with your dream guy but if your dream guy is not God’s guy, he will be just like any other guy. Never rush. Trust God’s timing. Do not listen to what the world tells you. Just keep praying for it. “Delight yourself in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart.” (Psalm 37:4).

Do not be bothered if they criticize you for having high standards or if they question your stand in love. None of them matters. At the end of the day, it will be God who will tell you to open your heart because He has sent the one. He knows you are ready. You’ll know it, not by having butterflies in your stomach or a huge smile plastered on your face. God will unfold His plan for you in the most amazing way. (Thinking about it makes me look forward to the future.)

May we find the joy in waiting for that magical moment and not be affected by the opinions of the world. While waiting, may we learn to pray more, hope more and to love more. May we focus on understanding ourselves and in preparing ourselves to be the best person to the person that God will give us as His precious gift. May we look forward to our love story that is not forced; a love story that is written by the author of all. In Nikki Gil’s words “gradual but consistent”.

I once asked an officemate, “Kuya, paano mo ba malalaman if nakita mo na si The One?” (Brother, how would you know if you have found The One?). His answer left me astonished. “Basta dapat yung mamahalin mo, yung mas mahal si Lord kesa sayo.” (If ever you will love someone, you should love someone who loves God more than you.) Because a guy who loves God more than you will always put God first and a guy who puts God first will be scared to hurt you.

Now ladies, this I tell you. Your standards are high not because you want a guy with a good job, a fat bank account, a luxurious car, good looks and a good body. Your standards are high because you pray for a guy who loves God more than anyone, a guy who prays with/for you, a guy who serves God with you, a guy who believes that you are a precious gift from God. A guy who treats you like a precious jewel because he believes that nothing can be compared to you. A guy who waited joyfully on the Lord just like you. A guy who can maintain a good conversation with you. A guy who can make you smile without you knowing it. A guy who doesn’t have to try hard just to impress you. A guy who have learned to love their mother before he decides to love any girl. Whoever thinks that these are high standards are probably those whose standards are low. So, never apologize for having high standards. Because  one day, you will be thankful that you have set your standards according to God’s promises to you.

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If I will be asked again why I am still single, it is not because I am choosy or because noone has the courage to tell me they like me; It is because God is still preparing both of us to be the “perfect” person for each other.

I strongly believe that someday, I would wake up and watch the sunrise next to the guy who don’t just gives me butterflies in my stomach, but with the guy who who will stand by me and pray with me until the sunset of our lives. I know he is just somewhere out there waiting for God’s go signal too. Once the light turns green, we’ll find our way to each other. For now, I will focus on my journey of knowing God more, of having God in my heart so whoever loves me has to find God first in order to win my heart. <3

I am God’s princess after all.

Much love,

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