Hey, winner!

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        To anyone whose goal is to bring joy into people’s lives or to at least just remind people to be joyful all the time. To anyone who knows how to choose when to fight and when to put down the sword and back down for a while. To anyone who believes that sometimes moving forward means taking a step back even if it means breaking his own heart. To anyone who loves without conditions. To anyone who gives without any anticipation of something in return. To anyone who always puts a smile on people’s faces. To anyone who serves God joyfully and willingly. To anyone who patiently listens to people’s rants, outbursts and tantrums. To anyone who always go the extra mile. I want you to know this.

       You deserve all the joy in the world. You deserve to have a genuine smile painted on your face all the time. Never let someone steal that smile because no one can wear it better than you. Remember those battles you chose not to fight? You’ve won them all. Remember those battles you chose to fight silently on your own? You’ve won them too. You are a winner in many ways, in many forms. It may not seem like it but believe me, you are. You may not have the prize but the lessons and realizations that come along with it are your greatest reward. I’ve never seen a courageous warrior who is strong enough to choose not to fight and love himself instead. Everything is a part of your preparation. So by the time that you will be faced with a battle that is worth the fight, you can triumphantly come out of it. You deserve all the love that you are getting or even more. You deserve a love that will sweep you off your feet and a love that will allow everything to make sense. A love that doesn’t just feel good on the outside but a love that brings peace in your heart. You have so much love to offer. I pray that you find someone who deserves it all. But for now, if you will love someone, may I suggest you love yourself? Because among everyone, it’s you who deserves it the most. Never forget that you are likable – lovable even. I hope everything that you are giving to everyone – time, attention, affection and care – be given back to you generously. If you find it insufficient, I hope you find what is lacking within yourself. God appreciates all your effort and your service. I am sure He has a wonderful reward waiting for you; more than what you are praying for; more than what you can handle. Be prepared and let Him surprise you. I hope you find ears who will patiently listen to your sentiments as well. Someone who will sit with you and let you do the endless talking on how your day was. Someone who won’t just nod and pretend to be interested but someone who will take everything into heart. I hope you find someone you can call home. Someone whose presence is more than enough. Someone who will make you say “I have won the fight.”

With the love of the Lord,

Love a Girl Who Writes

Love a girl who writes. She can take you to many places. She can live your million dreams. She can enjoy your silence. She will always hear your words. Love a girl who writes. She writes because you exist. She knows you deserve all the best words and she will use them all for you. She can read you even if you cover yourself with pretensions and disguise; with rumors and lies.

Love a girl who writes because she will always believe that you are wonderful…even if you are not. She will always write good things about you even if there is not too plenty of it. Because you are the main character in her book. Love her. Because once you do,  you will always be significant.

Dear May

May is the month of meaningful exhaustion.

Sleepless nights.

Real Talk.

Stories over coffee.

Waking up in the morning struggles.

Unplanned taxi rides.

Writing frustrations.

Unorganized Thoughts.

And everything in between.

Sometimes, you just ask yourself if it is all worth it.

You don’t have an answer.

But, a little voice inside you says…

“Enjoy people instead of things. Be a friend. Overuse I love you.”

So, you dragged yourself out of bed.

Sleepwalked your way to the bathroom.

Took a bath.

Seized the day.

Sleep is not an option.

But, you whispered to yourself, maybe June will be different.

And, you agreed.

Exit

Exit: noun. A way out. I had this conversation with a friend a while ago. He told me “sabi nila minsan gagaan if i-try bitawan yung nagpapabigat.” (They said, sometimes, it will be lighter if we will let go of the things that are weighing us down.). Then, we found ourselves talking about exits. This is what I told him, “We have this thing called emergency exit…this exit is for those who want to go out for a while to rest even if they are still far from the final exit. We also have the fire exit… this is for those who need to go out even if they don’t want to yet just because it’s not healthy for them to stay inside. Lastly, the final exit. You can’t avoid this one because this is the end of the road. It’s not important whether you win or lose; what’s important is you reached this point which means you didn’t give up. That still makes you a winner.”

I guess most of us are caught in the middle most of the time. Torn between decisions that could either make or break us. Torn between two lovers. Torn between someone who loves us and someone we love. Torn between pursuing and just admiring from afar. Torn between wants and needs. Torn between staying in a job we hate and passing that resignation letter. Torn between whether to keep going or give up. The line is endless. People will constantly be torn in between things because that’s what life is about; it’s about making decisions, about taking chances, about choosing what is best for us.

“Sa bawat isang bagay na pinipili mo, meron kang libo-libong bagay na tinatalikuran.” (In every single thing that you choose, you have thousand things to abandon.) This is why we should be wise in making our choices because we can’t undo things once it’s done. The only thing left for us to do is to face the consequences of our decisions. But, the truth is, there is no right or wrong decision, we just have to make a decision and make it right. Do whatever it takes to make it right. It’s either you win or you learn.

I am not a risky person. I always play it safe. I always settle. I always think that what I have is exactly what I deserve. Maybe that’s why I don’t always get what I want. That sucks. Yeah, it does.

But, until when should we really fight for what we want? When should we give up? When should we head to the exit? Which exit should we take? Emergency exits are everywhere. It’s an unlimited lifeline. When things get harder to bear, you don’t necessarily have to let go or to stop. Rest is a must. It allows you to think clearer. To think about your next steps until you’re ready to go inside again. Do whatever it takes to win. But, when it really gets too tiring without any sight of the silver lining and you are so exhausted in finding the right way out to the point that you are losing yourself along the way, I guess it’s time to take the fire exit before you get burned. Burns cause permanent scars. Scars are good, though. They remind you that you fought a good fight. A scarred soldier fought the hardest. Good job. Not getting what you want doesn’t mean you lost the battle, sometimes, losing means winning. You’ve just won yourself back. You have learned how to acknowledge defeat by knowing when to stop. Then, here comes  the final exit. This is where it all ends. This is the finished line. This is the sign that you made it. That even if you took the fire exit, it still lead you here. Pat yourself at the back. You were great in there. If you’re lucky enough, sometimes, life lets you go out of the final exit with the prize in your hand. Hold it with pride. You deserve it. Enjoy it. Take care of it. But, really, just the fact that you made it through every agonizing part of the journey and you made it at this point, you’ve already won. Not all winners have trophies, some only have lessons. Take the final exit. Go out with pride. Proceed to the next journey. After all, every exit is an entrance to somewhere else. You’ll never know what the next journey will bring. Maybe you never get what you wanted because you are meant to get something better. Something that you deserve and who deserves you too. Something that will make all the scars, rejections and pain worth it. By that time, I assure you, you will never have to let go.

So, to you, my friend, keep going. The road may still be long but keep going. As what you’ve said, don’t lose a battle without a fight. See you at the end of the line.

Note To Self

Hey!

I know I just normally write to you on your birthday or when it’s a start of a new year. But, on a normal day like this, I decided to write you a letter. Out of boredom, maybe. Or I just thought you need to hear from me now. Perhaps you’re in need of a little assurance that everything’s gonna be okay someday.

I just want to tell you that you are stronger than you think, braver than you feel and smarter than what other people think about you. I guess you know better now and you’ve learned valuable lessons in life (the hard way). And, you are a better and a stronger individual now because of that. I personally believe that there is nothing that you can’t handle. Life can throw punches at you forever but you will always be a survivor.

I am really proud of what you have become. I never really thought that you are that brave. I guess I underestimated you. You surprise me everyday.

Life is not a walk in the park and you know that, right? And, you are so ready for it.

Always keep these things in mind:

1. You can’t expect everything to go your way. Some things might actually go the opposite way and throwing tantrums will not help. Don’t cry over little things. Just deal with them.

2. Goodbye, like change, is constant. Someday, you will have to kiss someone goodbye. And, that’s okay. It’s gonna hurt but it’s okay. Cry if you have to but don’t cry a river. Tears can’t bring people back. Stop dehydrating yourself.

3. Some things will hurt. It will hurt because it mattered. But, never stop cherishing things or people.

4. Life is a basket-full of lemon . Millions of lemon will be thrown at you. Make as much lemonade as you can, sell them and benefit from them. Then, don’t forget to thank life for them.

5. It’s all gonna end. Everything’s gonna end. Nothing lasts forever. It may be stormy now but it can’t rain forever.

YOU’LL BE FINE. Just stay alive to see how the story ends.

Have a nice life!

Love always,

Me

Stop Light

Thank you for making everything last longer.
Thank you for giving people more time to exchange comforting hugs.
Thank you for giving people more time to talk.
Thank you for giving people the chance to have last minute goodbyes.
Thank you for everything.
Thank you for a few more minutes of happiness.
Thank you very much.
Please, don’t turn green ever again.