Exit: noun. A way out. I had this conversation with a friend a while ago. He told me “sabi nila minsan gagaan if i-try bitawan yung nagpapabigat.” (They said, sometimes, it will be lighter if we will let go of the things that are weighing us down.). Then, we found ourselves talking about exits. This is what I told him, “We have this thing called emergency exit…this exit is for those who want to go out for a while to rest even if they are still far from the final exit. We also have the fire exit… this is for those who need to go out even if they don’t want to yet just because it’s not healthy for them to stay inside. Lastly, the final exit. You can’t avoid this one because this is the end of the road. It’s not important whether you win or lose; what’s important is you reached this point which means you didn’t give up. That still makes you a winner.”
I guess most of us are caught in the middle most of the time. Torn between decisions that could either make or break us. Torn between two lovers. Torn between someone who loves us and someone we love. Torn between pursuing and just admiring from afar. Torn between wants and needs. Torn between staying in a job we hate and passing that resignation letter. Torn between whether to keep going or give up. The line is endless. People will constantly be torn in between things because that’s what life is about; it’s about making decisions, about taking chances, about choosing what is best for us.
“Sa bawat isang bagay na pinipili mo, meron kang libo-libong bagay na tinatalikuran.” (In every single thing that you choose, you have thousand things to abandon.) This is why we should be wise in making our choices because we can’t undo things once it’s done. The only thing left for us to do is to face the consequences of our decisions. But, the truth is, there is no right or wrong decision, we just have to make a decision and make it right. Do whatever it takes to make it right. It’s either you win or you learn.
I am not a risky person. I always play it safe. I always settle. I always think that what I have is exactly what I deserve. Maybe that’s why I don’t always get what I want. That sucks. Yeah, it does.
But, until when should we really fight for what we want? When should we give up? When should we head to the exit? Which exit should we take? Emergency exits are everywhere. It’s an unlimited lifeline. When things get harder to bear, you don’t necessarily have to let go or to stop. Rest is a must. It allows you to think clearer. To think about your next steps until you’re ready to go inside again. Do whatever it takes to win. But, when it really gets too tiring without any sight of the silver lining and you are so exhausted in finding the right way out to the point that you are losing yourself along the way, I guess it’s time to take the fire exit before you get burned. Burns cause permanent scars. Scars are good, though. They remind you that you fought a good fight. A scarred soldier fought the hardest. Good job. Not getting what you want doesn’t mean you lost the battle, sometimes, losing means winning. You’ve just won yourself back. You have learned how to acknowledge defeat by knowing when to stop. Then, here comes the final exit. This is where it all ends. This is the finished line. This is the sign that you made it. That even if you took the fire exit, it still lead you here. Pat yourself at the back. You were great in there. If you’re lucky enough, sometimes, life lets you go out of the final exit with the prize in your hand. Hold it with pride. You deserve it. Enjoy it. Take care of it. But, really, just the fact that you made it through every agonizing part of the journey and you made it at this point, you’ve already won. Not all winners have trophies, some only have lessons. Take the final exit. Go out with pride. Proceed to the next journey. After all, every exit is an entrance to somewhere else. You’ll never know what the next journey will bring. Maybe you never get what you wanted because you are meant to get something better. Something that you deserve and who deserves you too. Something that will make all the scars, rejections and pain worth it. By that time, I assure you, you will never have to let go.
So, to you, my friend, keep going. The road may still be long but keep going. As what you’ve said, don’t lose a battle without a fight. See you at the end of the line.