What’s going on? What’s wrong with you? Why are you feeling down since Sunday? I thought attending the mass and having a quiet moment in the Adoration Chapel will help you get over that mountain of emotions you’re trying to overcome? But why are you still like that? Do you think it’s still normal to feel that way?
Lately, I have been noticing that you sleep a lot. Remember that one time when you went to a coffee shop with friends and you’re not even aware that you fell asleep? They just woke you up when it’s time to go home. Seriously, did you just go there to sleep? And, the moment you opened your eyes you felt lost and clueless of what happened that night. That’s why you are so surprised when a video of you sleeping came out the next day. And, last Monday night, you slept earlier than usual but still felt like you didn’t get enough sleep the next day. And then last night, I can’t believe you slept around 8pm, on the wrong side of the bed, with your ipad playing Bo Sanchez’ talk about “Developing a Positive Mindset”. If your roommate didn’t wake you up I bet you overslept and failed to go to work. Why do you always unconsciously fall into a deep slumber? Do you find comfort in sleeping because it’s such a chore to stay awake? This is starting to bother me. Seriously.
And, you are so unmotivated these past few days. I feel like you are not in the mood to do anything or to talk to anyone (not even to your closest friends). You don’t even respond to viber messages. I don’t know what to do to you anymore. I don’t know what to tell you to make you feel better. I tried but you just fall asleep everytime I try to talk to you. Sometimes I want to shake you until you wake up and see the beauty of a new day that God has given you to enjoy. I want to understand you; I really do. I want to know how one day you are in a very good mood and days later it seems like the whole world is on your shoulder. I thought you are over this stage? I thought you’ve finally found the happiness that you’ve been running after for so long. I thought you’ve had your life’s turning point? I thought you’re tired of being this way? I thought you’re tired of being sad so you just woke up one day and decided that you don’t want to be like that anymore? But, look at you now; You’re back to your old self. Do you want to be like that again? Isn’t it more enjoyable if you will just, for goodness sake, decide to be happy and not overthink things? How come some people lost someone they love and they can still wake up every morning with a smile on their faces and you who lost nothing regrets each day before you even start it?
Let me assure you. Remember what Bo Sanchez said? “The last chapter of your life has been written and it has a happy ending.” Isn’t that assurance enough for you to go on with life no matter how emotionally and mentally tired you are? Isn’t that enough for you to enjoy the rain while waiting for the rainbow? Don’t just sleep. Wake up. Screw the world. See the world. Go out with positive friends. Stop overthinking. Stop torturing yourself. Breathe in and out. Can you just realize how lucky you are to be able to do that? Stop looking for what’s lacking in your life and focus on what you have. Let go of the past and look forward to what the future can bring. It may be a little stormy now but it won’t rain forever. Find happiness in little things. Count your blessings. Let go and Let God. Develop a personal relationship with Him. Pray often because there’s no better feeling than the feeling you get after praying. I know you can’t do all these in a snap of a finger but you’ll get there. One day, you will learn how to deal with life’s disappointments and imperfections. You won’t cry yourself to sleep. You won’t feel a day feeling awful. You won’t beg people to appreciate you. You will be alright.
Never give up. HOPE: Hold On, Pain Ends.
I will never get tired of cheering you up. But, please listen to me sometimes.
Your best friend and worst enemy,
P.S. I hope the days to come will be awesome. Hey, I love you, you idiot. 😀